Driving around in Florida you get into the habit of driving with the windows up and the AC on. There are days that are actually cool enough to roll the windows down and feel the wind in your hair. The problem then becomes how much loud music can you stand and how many new bad words do you want your kids to learn. If the music is that loud and their car windows are up just how loud is it inside the car. I’ve been next to cars that had so much bass that my rear view mirror started vibrating. These would be the people who drive right out into the intersection in front of the fire engine with the siren blaring and then have the nerve to flip off the fire engine.

This weekend I had the opportunity to share my car with a raccoon that took up residence in my chicken coop. Not only did the raccoon eat all of the eggs he (or she, I didn’t check) had a thing for cat toys and rocks which he would hide in the nesting box. Nobody should have to go through life with mad chickens and mad cats; so the raccoon had to go. I caught him using a humane trap and loaded him up for a trip to animal control. We hadn’t hit the end of the driveway before he “marked his territory” in the back of the car. Wow. Raccoons stink. Down went the windows for the 45 minute drive to animal control. Here’s something else I hadn’t noticed about Florida. The large number of old cars that generate an un-godly amount of stinky exhaust. I guess the best part of the AC bubble is the re-circulation button that keeps the stinky stuff out. 

Once we arrived at animal control I was informed that they don’t take raccoons and I was given the number for the Florida Wildlife Commission. The nice lady on the phone told me because the raccoon was in a cage I had 24 hours to do something with it. OK. I had three options. Take it home and let it go in my yard. I had many snide questions to ask about that answer but I kept them to myself. The second option was to humanely dispose of the raccoon. I did ask about options for this option. She told me to Google “euthanasia” and pick the best option. Damn! And I just sold my guillotine at our last garage sale, that option’s out. Finally, if I knew someone who had 40+ acres and would sign a waiver I could release the raccoon on their property. No luck. So, home we went. After releasing the raccoon in the front yard I drove away to drive the car through the car wash with the windows down; the raccoon was still sitting there watching me with a look on his face that said “What time’s dinner?”

If you’re going to be visiting Florida with your raccoon be sure to get a Tolltraxx transponder for your rental car from Rental Car Transponders. Save enough to buy a humane trap and stop by I’ll provide the raccoon.